In society today having a mental illness is still a taboo subject even though 1 in 4 of us will experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime. With such a large number of people affected by mental illness, you would think it would be more widely spoke about.
Continue reading “How speaking about my Mental Illness has become my strength”
Here you are my love. You have struggled and screamed, and finally in a rush of fear and relief asked for help. Getting to this point was a tremendous fight in itself but you are here now, which is the most important thing. Help is coming and I am so proud of you.
In this place of healing there are decisions to be made. What will your healing look like? Will you go to counselling? Will you take medication? Will you see a psychiatrist? Here is the thing about the answers to these questions. They are entirely your decisions. However you decide to heal is the right way. Whichever path you decide to take to get back to your life is your choice my love.
Continue reading “Don’t let others judge how you heal”
Since I started being honest about my mental health, I have realized that my friendships have changed – mostly for the better. There is more trust there now, we are able to talk about bigger things. Now I have opened up, others have started opening up too. It has made me think about how much time I have spent not being the best friend when I wasn’t open about what I was dealing with (Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal thoughts, Anxiety). I want to say sorry. I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t message you back because I overthought my response and decided that completely ignoring you would make you hate me less than me taking several hours to respond to you.
Continue reading “I’m sorry for all the times my depression and anxiety made me a rubbish friend”
When I was 14, I attempted suicide for the first time.
Let me rewind a bit first though.
I was 14 when my self-harming and depression decided to appear in my life and be a prominent feature still to this day. It was an interesting way to start my teenage years when they decided to appear in already a difficult time in any teenager’s life, just being a teenager. One thing led to another, while I was coping with being bullied at school, trying to keep my marks up, as well as coping with a big family fall out. When I found myself alone in my room with a load of pills next to me. I attempted to take my own life for the first time that night, and I woke up the next day with a sore throat and a terrible headache.
Continue reading “When your suicide doesn’t end in death or a hospital stay”
Anxiety: A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. It’s a small word that is defined so simply, yet the feeling is anything but simple. The feeling is anything but small.
Continue reading “When Anxiety tears you up inside”
‘I’m not okay”
I wish I could tell you this when you ask me how I am. I want to tell you this.
“I’m not okay”
Is what I really want to say to you, but I don’t.
Continue reading “Talking honestly to a friend about my depression”
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about being a year free from self harm, which is a wonderful achievement, and to the outside world hearing that you would think oh wow she’s fixed, she’s okay now. Which sadly is not the truth, recovery is something that takes continuous work. The past few weeks I have been feeling completely stuck, where I have found even getting out of bed a daunting thing. Where I feel that if I do something horrible might happen and I wont be able to handle it. I’ve gone to work but I could not tell you what I have done during my shifts or who I have spoken to let alone what about. The only horrible thing that has happened is that I still exist, because right now I would prefer not to be, this does not mean that I am suicidal or anything it just means that right now existing hurts.
Continue reading “When you feel stuck in recovery”