Making it 20+ years old as someone with depression

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When I was a teenager I remember thinking to myself if I just reach my twenties I’ll be okay. This at a time when I was sectioned at 17 and was adamant I did not under any circumstance want to see my eighteenth birthday. However my answers always remained the same in psych evaluations ‘No I don’t see or hear people who aren’t here, I don’t want to harm anyone, I’m not suicidal’. The latter always feeling like a lie because in a way it was.

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When you’re always anxious that someone is mad at you

If I had a pound for each time I have needlessly asked someone if they are mad at me, I would have a whole lot of money! Most of the time, the thought that someone might be mad at me is all in my head. With my anxiety comes a lot of insecurity, Irrational guilt is the feeling that you have done something wrong when you haven’t. This can be caused by anxiety, insecurity and low self-esteem. It is a frustrating and consuming cycle, a fracture and inaccurate view of the world’s feelings.

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My worth is not determined by my weight

In today’s society when we are bombarded with ‘perfect’ images of how we are supposed to look, and if we do not look like that then we are body shamed for the way we do look. There is a pressure on young girls and boys (lets not forget that boy’s also suffer). We are led to believe that unless we are ‘thin’ nobody will love us, nobody will want us. When in actual fact this is the furthest from the truth. Nobodies’ worth comes from there weight.

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When tragedy makes me doubt the importance of my mental health

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I was in the car on the way home from a concert when I heard the news about the explosion at the Manchester Arena, which had 22 fatalities and several 100 injured. I had friends at this concert.

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What I really mean when I say I’m tired

“I’m okay, just tired 

“I’m fine, just a little tired

These are the typical responses I give when someone asks me how I’m doing. Nobody really thinks about the response as it’s considered a ‘normal’ state of being. For a majority of people who say they’re tired, it is usually down to lack of sleep; early mornings and late nights. However, my tired is not from lack of sleep. It can mean something entirely different when you suffer from a mental illness.

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