How speaking about my Mental Illness has become my strength


In society today having a mental illness is still a taboo subject even though 1 in 4 of us will experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime. With such a large number of people affected by mental illness, you would think it would be more widely spoke about.

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Don’t let others judge how you heal




Here you are my love. You have struggled and screamed, and finally in a rush of fear and relief asked for help. Getting to this point was a tremendous fight in itself but you are here now, which is the most important thing. Help is coming and I am so proud of you.

In this place of healing there are decisions to be made. What will your healing look like? Will you go to counselling? Will you take medication? Will you see a psychiatrist? Here is the thing about the answers to these questions. They are entirely your decisions. However you decide to heal is the right way. Whichever path you decide to take to get back to your life is your choice my love.

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When returning to counselling feels like a failure

I have been referred back to counselling again. Having received different types of counselling and therapies since I was 13, being referred back again after months of feeling like I was getting somewhere felt like utter devastation to me. However, I am proud of the fact I realised I was suddenly dipping back into old ways and that I needed help and I actually asked for it. A year ago I would have just buried my head in the sand and pretended everything was okay and hope my feelings would eventually go away. But I did not I asked for help, which is nothing to be ashamed of. I am proud of the person I have become over the years and the progress I have made and will continue to make in my recovery journey.

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What it’s like to love a girl who has survived Trauma

A girl who has lived through trauma has lived through a situation where her body, mind, her entire self was not her own. Where she felt ripped from herself, safety, and her own sanity. It was an experience where her trust was smashed, her worth demolished and all was left was pain. A girl who has lived through trauma is the one whose been pushed into the deep end of the pool not knowing how to swim and yet somehow found herself a ledge. She walked through a fire and did not succumb to the smoke. She dealt with the burns and despite the flames all around her she made it out alive. She survived. But the thing about trauma is that even when the situation is over it never really goes away.

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When your suicide doesn’t end in death or a hospital stay

When I was 14, I attempted suicide for the first time.

Let me rewind a bit first though.

I was 14 when my self-harming and depression decided to appear in my life and be a prominent feature still to this day. It was an interesting way to start my teenage years when they decided to appear in already a difficult time in any teenager’s life, just being a teenager. One thing led to another, while I was coping with being bullied at school, trying to keep my marks up, as well as coping with a big family fall out. When I found myself alone in my room with a load of pills next to me. I attempted to take my own life for the first time that night, and I woke up the next day with a sore throat and a terrible headache.

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Please, ask me how I am. Please, want to know the honest answer.

Please ask me how I am.

Ask me in a way that genuinely makes me feel like you want the truthful answer, I know you probably wont. I know it’s not because you don’t care about me. It isn’t because you don’t worry about me, but if you’re honest with yourself, it’s because you probably don’t want to deal with it.

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Talking honestly to a friend about my depression

‘I’m not okay” 

I wish I could tell you this when you ask me how I am. I want to tell you this.

“I’m not okay”

Is what I really want to say to you, but I don’t.

Continue reading “Talking honestly to a friend about my depression”